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Reasons to Get Along With Ex-Spouse

January 24, 2014

1. MONEY! If you have become intimately familiar with the billable hour and retainers then you know what I am talking about. Reading billing statements showing entries for lawyer time for discussing who gets “this” or “that” is painful. Clients find themselves asking “I have to pay a thousand dollar bill from my attorney because my ex-spouse’s attorney called her five times to negotiate the china cabinet?” How does that make sense? If spouses are able discuss what assets and debts go with whom, then they will save money. It goes without saying that the attorney’s fees factor can grow exponentially when there are parenting issues.

2. It’s better for the kids. I’m just a family law attorney, but how can children learn to resolve conflict if their parents can’t agree on a pick up time or child support? They may learn how to build walls, ahem, I mean boundaries, but they will not learn how to resolve conflict. I find that those children then exhibit the same behaivor against their parents as their parents exhibited towards the other during the divorce. Talk about backfiring.

3. It will prevent future litigation. When kids are involved, it’s not always over when the divorce is granted. Many issues can arise in the future as the needs of the family change. It is very common for financial and emotional needs to change. For example, a teenager may need more time with the other parent during a certain time of his or her life and if his or her parents don’t get along, all out war will erupt when the child asks to be interviewed by the court.

4. Defamation is tough to prove. If an ex-spouse is prone to blast the other in the community, it’s difficult to tame the loud mouth and courts are not always willing to use their power to get involved.

5. The finale – You will see your child more. Getting along with your ex-spouse means you can squeeze an extra day into your ski vacation or switch a weekend here or there. It could also mean you get more communication about the child’s schoolwork, extra curriculars, a bad breakup and so on.

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